Well, it certainly sounds like the process is already running. I'm not sure why it wouldn't start properly from the get-go -- I use netTunes on a headless machine myself without any problems.
From ssh, try using:
ps -auxww | grep netTunes
Given the 'port is use' message, it sounds like you're running with a locked-down port, and that the server is really running...
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--Dave Nanian
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